Creativity & Humor

Humor & Wit quotes

Dry, quick and a little irreverent. A lighter line for a heavy week.

• Patience is confidence that hasn't finished cooking yet.

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• There are two infinities: the cosmos and human folly. I'm still uncertain about the cosmos.

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• If you could make a pie chart of who causes most of your problems, you'd be the biggest slice.

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• The biggest enigma in life is why Wi-Fi signals aren't stronger.

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• If at first you don't succeed, best not to try bungee jumping.

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• Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

  Mark TwainCopy

• I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

  Robert BenchleyCopy

• Snooze buttons are the only alarms anyone has ever truly defeated.

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• Confidence is mostly just forgetting to check if anyone's watching.

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• Tomorrow is where great plans go to rest, indefinitely.

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• My only talent is my insatiable curiosity.

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• Good timing is mostly showing up before you feel ready.

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A sample of 12 from the 72 Humor & Wit quotes in the app. Named authors are shown as in the app; lines marked Risora are our own writing.